Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
