69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
