I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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