Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
