dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
