I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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