the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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