Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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