my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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