Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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