You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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