yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
