Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
