My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
