You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
