You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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