I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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