This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
