It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
