One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i think i just lost a toe
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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