im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
