I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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