Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
