Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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