He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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