I bet he comes in French.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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