He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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