careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
