I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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