i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
