Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
