I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Vodka?
Forever.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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