I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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