Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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