Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
