People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
