they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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