i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
