Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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