I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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