Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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