You really coming over, don't trick.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
