Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
