You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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