Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
