Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
