he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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