you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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