at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
