Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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